It’s all happening- December is arriving and with it the impending mayhem of:
- Kids finishing school
- Concerts and final events aplenty
- A pile of work to complete before that out-of-office goes on
- Pressies to choose, buy and wrap
- A tree to decorate
- Christmas lunch to plan and prepare whether you’re hosting or a guest
- End-of-year networking events to attend
- Client gifts to organise
- And so much more.
All for one month of the year that can turn routines on their backsides and leave you wishing you had a night in to don your pjs, binge-watch your favourite Christmas movies and not have to talk to anyone you don’t want to.
If this is you and you’re already feeling the need to go rock in a corner somewhere and wish you could put ‘fast forward to relaxing in January’ on your Christmas list, I’ve got you. You get to orchestrate exactly how this is going to go but to do that, you need to step back, evaluate and get really clear on what you want. Are you ready?
- Plan ahead:
Yes, it sounds obvious but if you haven’t worked out how you want the next month to pan out, chances are it won’t go to plan (because there isn’t one).
Ask yourself these questions:
How do I want to feel by Christmas Day?
- Is it festive, connected, calm and joyful?
- Or stretched so thin you’re worried you may snap; jumping down your kids’ throats at the slightest transgression; stressed out with your blood pressure rising by the minute; and peed off with the damn silly season?
Once you’ve worked this out, here’s step 2.
- Gather The Kickass Team You’ll Need
Imagine you’re back in school and have been picked as the captain of one of 2 sporting sides. You get to choose which boundaries you want on your team so that you can smash this game out of the park (sounds like it must be baseball lol).
We all know that, rightly or wrongly, the captain chooses the strongest players who are going to be an asset to the team.
But the weird thing is, in the game of life, most people don’t captain their own team in the same way. They choose the least likely first preferences and wonder why they’re on the losing side by the time the final whistle blows (ok so take my metaphors with a grain of salt. I have no idea if there’s a final whistle in baseball!)
They choose the wishy-washy boundaries that lead to too many yeses and very few if any, nos.
They choose to keep others happy ‘because it’s Christmas after all’ ahead of ‘I need to make myself happy ‘because it’s Christmas after all’.
I recently shared some ideas for boundaries with yourself and boundaries with others in a presentation on Setting Boundaries. Check these out:
Financial commitments can be massive in December as well, so I’m adding this note as well:
I don’t exceed my budget in an attempt to prove my worth to others.
- Check your Stories.
We all do it- consider changing our mind about a social engagement or not saying yes in the first place, and then imagining how the other person/people will react. This can be the start of stories in our mind about what they’ll think of you; that you’re letting them down; that you’re not a very good friend and so on. You might as well be the Grinch at this point- but remember this is all still only in your own mind.
Actually, most people understand. Often they’re relieved because they were dreading going to an event when they’re completely exhausted but feel too bad to pull out.
You’re most likely doing someone else a favour when you uphold your own boundaries. You are showing them how it’s done. The reality often contradicts the story that was playing in your mind.
So check your stories, ask yourself if this is real or just the story you’re telling yourself, and then make the decision anyway. January is such a great month to catch up with people when they’re more relaxed, have had a bit of a break, and here in Australia, there’s even a chance of a barbie or poolside get-together, when the stress and pressure of December seems like a distant memory.
It is absolutely possible to reach the end of the year and feel festive, joyful, calm and connected. Make wise choices as you enter December and make it happen.
If you need help with strengthening your personal, business and/or work boundaries in 2024 reach out sooner rather than later. You can book a Let’s Chat call here and we can work out the best way to help you nail a calmer, more fulfilling and successful year ahead. Whether it’s mindset coaching; human design or something else, I’ve got you covered.
For some extra tips to say no, check out one of my most popular posts on Insta for ‘5 Ideas For Saying No, Without Saying No’
Tags: boundaries Human Behaviour people-pleaser
