What Happens After I Say ‘Yes’ To Mindset Coaching?

So you’ve said yes to mindset coaching – what happens next?

I work with women in a range of different businesses across a range of industries. So whether you’re a social media manager; a bookkeeper; a financial planner; or a mortgage broker, while all of those people and their jobs are really different, there are these similarities.

They’re:

1. Happy, but not that happy.
2. Successful, but would like to take it up a notch.
3. Great at what they do. But are also putting in way too much time and effort when it’s not required. In other words, over-delivering consistently.

What happens next / how does it work?

To back track a teeny bit, to say ‘yes’ to coaching we would always have had a conversation first. That way, we cover off on 2 important things:

1. You get a sense of my style; how I work; the types of things we will talk about and to see if we get along well enough to work together. I can be direct; we will have fun; I will hold you accountable and I swear – any or all of these things may be a deal breaker for you. And I’m telling you now, if you don’t like my style, you will not want to be coached by me!
2. I need to understand what it is that you actually want, and how committed you are to having that. If you want relationship coaching with your partner, I will help to refer you on or know where to go next, because that’s not my jam. If you want mindset coaching but don’t really know exactly what you want from that, we help you to unpack the outcomes you’re seeking. Most likely you’ll have a sense that life is good, but you’d like it to be awesome! And that something isn’t quite right. And if we help you to gain clarity on what you want, but you’re not really keen to do something about it (now) then we won’t start working together.

As long as we’re a good fit, and you’re committed (like, for real) then we go for gold and start working together!

And it’s at this point you might be thinking – ‘this sounds great! But what happens next or what would we cover?’

There’s no ‘formula’ for that, but there are some things that I cover with everyone.

• Unless you’ve already had one, we do an extended DISC behavioural profile. This gives insights into your natural and adapted profile and sets the scene for the subconscious vs conscious work that will follow. You get a 20 page report and a stack of insights into what makes you tick. And you will also gain a tonne of awareness around others (eg family members; people who might want to work with you; clients; team members).

• We unpack what you’d like to achieve by the end of working together eg after 6 months I want to be experiencing xyz.

• Roles and Inner Child work comes next: we dig to uncover what role you have taken on is no longer working out for you (which might show up as keeping other people happy but it’s making you unhappy; trying to fix other people’s problems to feel needed and important; etc – I’ll share some links at the bottom if you’d like to read more).

• We work out who you are deep down, when you’re not in that role. So if you’re in a people pleasing role and we’re going to help you to let go of that, who’s the person who’s still there underneath. What qualities; attributes; behaviours etc do you have without that role.

• We help you to identify what your needs are; how to set healthy and supportive boundaries and how to put these into practice in real life (which is way more challenging than just theoretically understanding boundaries). This is where the rubber hits the road and is an absolute game changer because you go from behaviours that are focused on meeting other people’s needs ahead of your own -> to knowing that you deserve to meet your own needs; to start to work out your priorities; and learn how to say no without feeling guilty; you then save time; gain energy; make more money and let go of what’s exhausting you, to name a few things.

• Then we move into more of the issues that are specific to you and you bring a topic you would like to focus on for the next series of sessions. It could be related to your business; your relationship; money; health; wellbeing etc.

Take Leanne **

Leanne owns an allied health practice. She has always been in a helping profession, and focused on making sure her patients are really well taken care of. But unfortunately this means that her own needs come last. She works long days; finds it hard to entrust different responsibilities to her team, even though she knows they’re amazing; she does everything around the home despite having a hubby who is very capable and willing to contribute to home duties. And she’s a self-confessed control freak. 

After Leanne said yes to mindset coaching, here’s what followed:

• An Extended DISC profile that identifies a pressure theme and what her core drivers are. It helps her to have awareness of her natural tendency to try to control

• Leanne is working herself into the ground. She gets a lot of significance from the success she’s had in her business which perpetuates more activity and busyness. As a result, she’s exhausted; becomes unwell regularly and is trying to find a better balance.

• We identified that Leanne has learnt to play the Hero and People Pleaser roles, with rescuer tendencies and identify exactly what this means for her (not just a cookie cutter approach). We identify how this combination of roles has helped her; hindered her and ultimately what price she has paid for this to still be in place.

• We also identified Leanne’s natural or core identity – the person she is when she’s not playing a role.

• We do a roles integration and connect with the authentic version of Leanne to the surface. This is a powerful and transformational session.

• We discuss the needs and boundaries that are important for Leanne to nurture, to enable her to take time for herself; delegate; outsource; accept help; and to connect with the emotions she has pushed away in a non-judgemental and accepting way.

• We help her to develop boundaries that will support her to have the outcomes she wants in a range of areas of her life.

• Leanne puts these into practise in her own life over the course of a couple of weeks and then we review how she went. Together, we work out when she didn’t manage to stick to her boundaries and how she could do that next time in a similar situation; we identify if additional boundaries are required; we talk about the pushback she received from people as she stepped into setting her boundaries (because people wonder what the hell is going on when you start to set boundaries that meet your own needs, and they can really challenge you on these).

• She starts to have different kinds of challenges as a result of the changes in who she is being. She notices the ripple effects on her children; her partner; her team and within herself. She’s more productive; less stressed; more calm; and feels confident and empowered.

This particular type of mindset coaching, incorporating embodiment and breathwork as well, is hugely powerful and helps to create really powerful and lasting change. Clients actually tell me what a game changer this is (which of course I blooming love!) It changes the level of awareness they have and provides a framework through which to view their world.

Of course, everyone is unique and has a different situation. What doesn’t change is providing people with the tools, knowledge and support to start to live a life they love, and get back to what they wanted from their business in the first place (freedom; flexibility; choices; to make a difference; quality time with those they love).

Now that you know what would come next if you say yes to coaching, if you’d like to have a conversation about where you’re at right now, and how you’d like things to be, just contact me HERE and let’s do it! It’s obligation-free and will provide you with more clarity if nothing else.

But if you’d like to stalk me quietly for a little longer before you’re ready to say yes (don’t worry, we’ve all been there!), just subscribe to my newsletter HERE and you get my free 7 Shortcuts to Have More Time & Less Stress pdf.

Kylie x

Have I piqued your interest around Roles and Inner Child work? Well, then you might be interested in this blog I wrote: ‘Who Are You When You’re Not Being You?’

**not her real name, and other details have been changed for anonymity)

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