If you’re an established business owner, the truth is that you don’t need another strategy, another landing page, an extra lead magnet.
I know for sure that strategy is obviously crucial to getting you to where you are now, and continuing to do so. However, it’s not another ‘solution’ you need – it’s getting to the heart of what’s really going on.
You see, if we don’t give ourselves permission for things to be different, guess what happens? More of the same.
This week it was our first Live call within FLOURISH (my 9 week group program for mums in business that we are running for the first time) and we were unpacking all the ideas, concepts and learnings from the pre-learning the previous week.
Our topic for this 2 week period is Permission to Change the Story and it’s all about the stories we tell ourselves that we believe to be true, and the limiting beliefs that grab at us and tell us why we can’t do all the things.
Or why we’re not good enough, smart enough, successful enough, and just generally ‘enough’ (the list can be long!)
In coaching, we look for the ‘code’ of behaviour. The patterns that show up time and time again, usually completely unbeknownst to us. This is what results in continuing to head for burnout, or striving to prove yourself over and over again (but no matter what your achievements are, you still feel inadequate).
Themes for business owners are often around how many hours we have to work to be successful; how hard it has to be; how we need to continue to be selfless, because that’s just ‘how it is’.
God forbid we might be self-ish (it’s weird to think we are SO averse to the concept of looking after ourselves as a priority. But sadly women being selfless is seemingly aspirational).
This results in endless striving; being chained to your desk; not having the time for the people in your life that you love. And let’s not forget the eternal ‘giving’.
Giving of your time. Endless serving of others. Reminding yourself that time for you will come later. But then when you have some or a lot of the success you were craving, it seems impossible to pull back then, because isn’t that what got you to this point?
You end up tied to your beliefs and stories about how you got to here, and what needs to happen to remain there..
The costs of this are huge:
- Continued energy depletion aka exhaustion
- A fast train to burnout (if you’re not already there)
- Finding it really challenging to scale and leverage your business
- Losing your sense of self – you don’t know who you are any more when your identity is tied to your business accomplishments
- Resentment by your family of you continuously working, being distracted, blowing them off for work commitments or ‘I’ve just gotta take this call’
- Guilt. Shame. Struggle. Fear.
Another strategy isn’t going to cut it. You’ve learnt the business strategies that have helped you to get here.
But the work from here going forwards is in the mindset. Of course, there’s still strategy – you don’t just drop all of that. Business without any strategy would be… a mess. But another strategy isn’t the magic solution.
What you most likely need the most is a shift in your identity. In the permission you give yourself to change your stories and limiting beliefs.
Being able to assert boundaries that help you to claim back your time, energy, sense of self, satisfaction with what you’re doing (in business and in life). In the unseen thoughts that are creating all of this behaviour, and therefore your experience of life.
Just getting another strategy will not work, because it MUST be aligned to who you are, and provide help to move past the mindset blocks, hurdles and ninjas that pop up endlessly.
Let’s be honest. You can work less and make more money – as well as take a break, start later or finish early and still be successful. You can work 20 hours a week, outsource to others, have leveraged offers and have more time freedom.
The permission piece.
It’s a tough one, because at the root of it is self worth and deservedness. You can’t start to assert boundaries if you don’t believe you deserve to. And if you never get great at that, you will always be chasing time, energy and fulfilment. You just will.
My favourite work is helping established business owners to completely transform their belief in what’s possible. To know deeply that they deserve more. That they’re allowed to have it. That whatever you can dream of is not too much. You are not limited to what you have.
You can have more AND you’re not being greedy or selfish or ‘too much’ (doesn’t the world like to tell women they’re being ‘too much’ – well, screw that, if you ask me!)
In actual fact, the world NEEDS that from you – to show other women, your children, your friends, what’s possible.
To shine your light brightly out to the planet; step into your full wholeness; bring your talents to even more people who need what you have or your solution to their problem; preserve your sense of self, and your time, energy and focus so you can continue to run your business.
By doing this, you can show your children that following your passion and your dreams isn’t selfish. Or require you to be self-LESS. It’s your (and their) birthright and what the world needs now.
If you’re curious about this for your situation, ask yourself this:
- What is stopping me from running my business the way I want, and instead keeps me running it the way I feel I should / have to?
- What comes up when you think of running your business in a way that you dream of (less hours; more flexibility, choices and freedom)? (eg I wouldn’t be successful; I wouldn’t be productive; I’d be lazy etc).
This will start to spark some awareness of the mindset patterns at play. Make sure you avoid judging, shaming or criticising yourself for what you notice – we always want to bring compassion and kindness to these things. You are not doing anything ‘wrong’.
And if you choose, you can make changes to get to the next level in your business with more ease and flow and self-centredness (while still serving your clients to a high level).
If you’d like to join our next intake of FLOURISH, you can head here to register your interest and have first access to an intimate group coaching experience.
If you prefer private 1:1 business mindset coaching, feel free to reach out here – I have availability for June.
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