I know you’re a smart, switched on woman. You may resist and try to diminish being ‘smart’, because you know people who are smarter, right? But deep down, you also know that it’s true.
You also have a successful business that you’ve established. To a point. The point is where you lost your passion for it because you no longer had any time, energy or space left. And that happened because at some point long ago, you lost yourself.
And now here you are feeling a bit (or quite) dumb for not knowing how to manage your time, energy and work so there’s something left for you.
I was exactly the same. I’ve lost count of how many coaches referred to me as being ‘smart’ (which I resisted heavily – yikes!) But the problem was that I was trying to rely on that instead of being open to the more confronting issues that were really going to make an impact: emotions (which I heavily suppressed); identity; intuition and more.
So this is not an intelligence issue.
This is not going to be resolved by taking some more time to think it through; process it; mull it over. Believe me, I had tried that for a long time!
The problem is that you are unfulfilled. You are playing a supporting role in your own life. You’re exhausted and you occasionally find yourself wondering how the hell you get out of this space; because it’s taking a massive toll.
And you dream of finding peace within you – mm, can you imagine?!
You are desperate to continue to feel passionate and inspired and fulfilled within your business, and not let the flames of exhaustion build up to resentment, eventually burning out your dream business.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not silly for not knowing how to set supportive boundaries.
And it’s not because you’re not smart enough, even though you think: ‘How hard could it be? It’s not rocket science’.
But is IS freaking hard when you’ve had a lifetime of feeling unworthy of standing up for yourself; for making your needs a priority; and feeling like you’re being ‘too much’ any time you even attempt to lay the foundations of how you want it to be.
This work is around changing your identity. Implementing boundaries that you stick to within your own behaviour, as well as with others.
Shifting from being outward-facing, reactive and feeling like you’re never enough, to a life where you are self-nurturing, fiercely protective of your time, energy and what / who you surround yourself with, as you begin to realise how precious these things are as you move along the path towards loving yourself.
A life where you can live the bold, true version of who you are, where you show up for yourself, so that you can continue to show up for others.
Knowing that this mission isn’t just for you. It must start for you; but it won’t end with you.
It will create ripple effects of change that you could never even imagine – for your children; your relationship; friendships; clients and so much more. Many of these ripples you won’t even get to witness, but they will have started with you.
A mission to find yourself – the truest and realest version – is perhaps the biggest and most daunting adventure of all.
- what might you discover?
- what will be uncovered?
- who even lies within?
- what will it take?
For all of these fears (which are all driven by not knowing what to expect), the joy, freedom, empowerment and fulfilment that comes from this life-changing work far exceeds the times that feel hard, challenging and confronting.
And my god, is it worth it. So no, you’re not dumb. You’re not lacking. You’re not inadequate in any way, shape or form. You are just living out what you learned long ago. And you can start to do things differently any time you choose, without any ‘fixing’ – you’re not a broken tap.
So I would love to ask you to do yourself a favour and ask your heart and soul what it truly, madly, deeply wants for you. Your brain cannot answer this, but your soul knows. And embark on an adventure to give it that.
Kylie xTags: Authenticity entrepreneur coach Human Behaviour Inner child transformational coaching