It has never been clearer that connection is crucial to our wellbeing and happiness. Maybe you’ve noticed this – probably via a feeling of being more disconnected right now. Maybe you can’t see your family or your friends. Maybe you miss your team and the banter that happens when you’re all in one spot. Maybe you miss being able to meet up for a coffee with a friend and actually sit IN the cafe to enjoy it.
I know many people who are struggling to connect via Zoom calls. They tell me it feels less personal and just isn’t the same. Which is true – it’s not the same. It’s different.
Tony Robbins lists Connection (and Love) as one of the 6 Core Human Needs (alongside Certainty; Uncertainty; Significance; Growth and Contribution (you can learn more here: The 6 Core Human Needs). And these needs are like oxygen – you WILL meet them, one way or the other. Either in a way that helps you to feel uplifted and filled up, or disconnected from yourself (think endless scrolling of socials; reliance on alcohol / cigarettes / food etc; keeping your focus on the future and not the present).
Knowing how to meet your need for connection even in tricky times (hello 2020, I’m looking at you) can make a huge difference to how you feel day to day.
How to do this?
Here’s 3 strategies to help:
1. Start your day connecting to yourself by:
- focusing on your breathing, right down into your belly rather than into the chest area
- meditation – there’s no need to clear your thoughts and think of nothing; just be present with what’s going on for you without judging it
- exercise
- a walk in nature
- just being present in the here and now. It can be as little as 5 mins and can make a BIG difference to how you start your day.
2. Find ways to boost your feelings of connection by picking up the phone and actually calling a friend / family member, instead of just messaging. You can also utilise apps that enable you to connect more via chat (you can check some out here: Best Team Chat App’s).
3. Ask yourself how you could ramp up the feeling of connection on a Zoom call – there are some great practical tips in this Forbes article Feeling Human Connection in a Zoom Meeting.
It also helps to question what you’re telling yourself about getting together on Zoom – are you telling yourself it’s ‘not as good’ as face to face? Are you telling yourself you ‘can’t connect properly’ with others? What if this were just a made-up belief that you’ve been telling yourself?
Beliefs are just made up assumptions and if you have a belief that isn’t working out for you, maybe it’s time to change it. You could replace it with something like: ‘Zoom calls are helping me to stay connected. I can either choose to show up in a way that’s amplifying connection with others’.
4. I’m also a bit of an ‘oils gal’ and love my doTerra essential oils. Using these to connect to the here and now via the olfactory system is a great way to get present. Emotionally, Marjoram is ‘the oil of Connection’ and others that promote feelings of connection are: Vetiver; Cedarwood; Geranium; Birch; Lime; Ylang Ylang; and Holiday Blend. So if you have any of these, whack ’em on (technical term) and breathe deeply.
Happy Connecting, legends!
Tags: Coaching connection covid-19 Mindset Coaching
