We’ve all been there. Putting everyone else’s needs first, while yours go on the backburner. Believing it’s your job to hold it all together. Welcome to the shadow side of the ‘Good Girl’ conditioning, something Gate 27 can stir up big time.
As the Sun moves through Gate 27 – the Gate of Caring, we’re collectively invited to reflect on how we nurture others and whether it’s costing us. It’s a powerful moment to explore where you might be over-giving, over-responsible, or feeling the emotional weight of everyone else’s needs. (You can look up your chart here if you want to check if you have this one, or if it’s in a prominent position).
Even if you don’t have this gate defined in your chart, this energy is in the collective field for a few days- and it might stir up some stuff. Especially if, like me, you have Gate 50, which links directly to this one and creates the full Channel of Nurturing. Translation? The pressure to ‘care’ can get loud.
This is a brilliant time to check in with your values, your energy, and your boundaries — especially if you’re someone who tends to take on too much (hello, martyr mode).
How many times have you known you needed a break but kept pushing through anyway?
Or found yourself resenting clients, your partner, or even your kids, not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because you haven’t eaten since 11 am, your inbox is overflowing, and you can’t remember the last time you had a full day off?
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime in the ‘women in business’ space: needs.
Not just your clients’ needs. Not your team’s, your kids’, or your partner’s. Yours.
The Uncomfortable Truth: Caring Too Much For Too Long Will Deplete You
A lot of women I work with tell me they feel ‘bad’ for needing rest, space, support, or time off. They’ve internalised the belief that to be successful, to be seen as capable, or even to be loved, they need to constantly be available, helpful, and giving.
Let’s call that what it is: people pleasing in disguise.
It’s a beautiful quality to care for others, to want to give and support. That’s the gift of your nurturing nature.
But without boundaries? It quickly flips into burnout, resentment, and self-sacrifice.
There’s a dance between two key energies I see in so many of my clients:
- The instinct to care for others
- And the deep, often-ignored need to care for self
When these two aren’t in balance, everything feels off.
Boundaries Protect Your Needs And Align With Your Values
The belief that boundaries are harsh or selfish is a hangover from the old paradigm of leadership.
The new paradigm? Boundaries are how we protect what matters. Our energy; our capacity; ur integrity.
They help us preserve our values. (Especially when, like me, you carry Gate 50 = the guardian of values and collective care).
And when the energy of caring is in the air (literally, right now!), it’s a perfect time to ask:
- Where am I sacrificing myself for the sake of being ‘a good leader’ or ‘good mum’ or ‘good friend’?
- Where am I overgiving out of guilt or trying to prove myself rather than genuine generosity?
- What would change if I honoured my needs with the same dedication I give to others?
What If You Didn’t Have to Earn Rest?
Let me say this clearly:
You are worthy of being well nourished, emotionally, mentally, energetically, and physically. Not after the to-do list is done (because you never get to the end, am I right?) Not once everyone else is sorted. But right now. Because you’re a human. And humans have needs.
When you take care of your needs first (not only, but first), you’re not being selfish. You’re building the foundation of your capacity; sustaining your impact; leading from a place of wholeness, not depletion.
I have seen it time and time and time again with my coaching clients. People *think* boundaries will make them seem too harsh, or that they won’t be liked anymore or that they’ll push people away. It’s not that at ALL. You will be more professional and end up with better clients who respect your time, energy and pricing. Everything elevates, AND you’ll be far more contented within your business because you won’t be headed for burnout.
Try This Journal Prompt
If you want to dig a little deeper, grab a journal and write:
‘What do I need to feel nourished, energised, and supported this week, and what boundary would honour that need?’
And if your brain fires back with, ‘Yeah but that’s not realistic right now’ ask:
What part of me believes I’m not allowed to have needs? And where did I learn that? It might surprise you.
Feeling called out (in the best way)? That’s a good thing.
This is the work. Learning to trust that when you honour you, everything else flows better. Not perfectly. But more sustainably. With more joy. More impact. More alignment.
And if this post hit you in the gut because you know you’ve been running on empty, it might be time for a reset.
In my 1:1 Human Design for Business / Career Strategy Sessions, we look at how you’re designed to operate, lead, and thrive. So you can stop pouring from an empty cup and start building a business (and life) that actually feels good.
If you’re craving clarity, permission, and a grounded plan of action o you can really thrive in the most aligned way for you, this is for you. Book your 1:1 Human Design Strategy Session here . This is the final week to claim 1 x week of unlimited Voxer voice note support for additional questions, coaching, brainstorming and strategising. This is normally ONLY available to private coaching clients. So jump straight in before it’s gone.
Tags: people-pleaser
